How Old Are You?

i get asked this question alot. Alot. More within the past year than in previous years.

People are always confused about how old i am. Usually people think i'm in my early to mid-twenties, but i still get carded for cigarettes and alcohol. Daddy says that at times i appear to be 15.

i don't think it's so much about how i look as the way i act. Since meeting Daddy i've been generally much happier. It gives me a sunnier more cheerful attitude. i try to give my co-workers a more positive outlook, and i tend to avoid being dragged into the dramas that surround me. Before i would've probably immersed myself in it, joining in the bitching and moaning. Now, i don't see the point.

So, i'm bubbly and smiling to everyone i work with. i offer to help out, doing the little undesirable chores to make the other girls' days a bit easier. i tell some of them crazy stories about what Daddy and i do. None of the dark stuff, but definitely experiences their vanilla sex lives don't include. And they laugh at the bizarreness of it, but that's ok 'cause sometimes it makes me laugh, too.

i act like a teenager without a care in the world, but when i open my mouth i have memories of vinyl records, life before Mtv (and when Mtv actually played videos!), Reaganomics, no cable, when a neighbor parent would punish you on the spot and then you'd get punished again when your parents found out, when coffee was as off limits for teens as cigarettes were, how cigarettes used to be $1.75, a time before crack, when Time's Square was a filthy hovel and not squeaky clean Disneyland, memories of the Sonny & Cher show, Mr. Hooper, etc.

That's when people look at me and ask "How old are you?" i must admit the look of shock is very gratifying. Even Daddy has to remind Himself sometimes that i'm not in my twenties. But He's excused because i regress so much when i'm with Him, i really might as well be a teenager.

What's really odd is that when i actually was a teenager, people always thought i was so much older than i was. Whether it was because i used "big words" or just didn't act all giddy and flakey, i'm not sure. Maybe the guys would say it just to flatter me, trying to get into my pants. But my parents' friends were always very impressed by my sisters and me, so possibly there's something to it.

Anyway, i'm still not flakey, but i certainly have cheered up. Lord knows i wasn't a "cheery" teenager. i definitely wasn't having the sex i do now. And i didn't have the Daddy i have now.

All in all, it's much better the second time around.