I pull up to the Victorian duplex where my girlfriend lives; parking alongside the curb squeezing into the only open space. It sits on the corner of a dead end little lane and the main street of town. She and 3 friends of hers share the second and third floors of this rundown, creaking dowager of a house. It appeals to their starving artist boho aesthetic to live in decadent squalor.
The owner/landlord, Anthony, lives in the first floor apartment, and the parking spot I've secured is right outside his brightly lit kitchen. As I turn off the engine I look into his kitchen window and see he has company. He's sharing a beer with a friend of his, Bobby, whom I've met before. They sit at the kitchen table, but are not talking to each other, they're laughing at something on the other side of the kitchen that i can't see from my vantage point.
I'm about to get out of the car when i see who they've been listening to. My girlfriend steps into the space framed by the window. They must have invited her spur of the moment because her hair is thrown up into a ponytail, and she's wearing her "hanging around the apartment clothes"; a white wife beater and a pair of my boxers. Even from the street I can see her braless nipples through the thin material.
She walks towards the table where Anthony and Bobby are sitting, moving her hands to illustrate her story. When she reaches the table her back is towards me, and she comes to the punchline of her story, throwing her head back and laughing. She doesn't see the look the two friends give each other as they join in her amusement with an amusement that has nothing to do with the tale she's regaled them with. Their eyes are devouring her body, and I can see that they're practically twisting in their chairs.
Anthony gains a bit of courage and reaches out for her waist, scoots his chair back from the table, and pulls her onto his lap. It's meant to be friendly and playful on the surface, but the way he crooks his arm around her hip once she's settled on top of him is far from platonic. Bobby starts telling his own story, but from the way Anthony's fingers are sliding up and down my girlfriend's thighs i doubt he's even listening.
Anthony's other hand slips up her waist and settles on her ribcage just under her left breast, and he whispers something into her ear. Smiling broadly, my girlfriend twists in Anthony's lap to face Bobby, and spreads her thighs. Bobby stops telling his story and watches as Anthony's right hand disappears up the leg of my girlfriend's boxer shorts, while his left hand cups her breast tugging her nipples through the fabric with his thumb and forefinger.
I can feel the familiar tingling spread through my cock as I watch. Heat runs down the length of my shaft, and I press my hand over my jeans at the growing stiffness. Now I'm shifting in my seat, looking to see if there's anyone around to catch me if I were to take it out. The house is on the outer edge of town, but it's summer and people like to hang out on their porches and go for walks around here. For the moment I content myself with unbuttoning and unzipping, but don't pull my cock out...yet.
In the few moments my attention was distracted my girlfriend's top has been pushed up over her tits, and Anthony's right hand is now pushed down the waistband of her boxers. Her eyes are closed with the back of her head on Anthony's shoulder, face pointed to the ceiling, her hands gripping the sides of his hips. Bobby has leaned in closer paying rapt attention to the show. The table's in the way, so I can't tell if Bobby has his cock out, but his shoulder is moving in a distinctive back and forth motion.
When Anthony stands her up and pulls off her boxers I can't resist any longer, and dig my cock out of my pants. I can feel my pulse pounding against my damp palms, and I squeeze the base of my cock, twisting my wrist and relishing that first tight stroke. Anthony bends my girlfriend over and she supports herself on her elbows, left foot on the floor, right leg bent across the table. Her chest hovers over the edge with her mouth inches away from Bobby's crotch. I can't see if she's wet, but I know she wants to get fucked when she wiggles her ass in Anthony's direction.
My breathing is rugged watching my girlfriend get double stuffed. I feel like I'm going to burst out of my skin with lust. My entire body is tensed, poised to erupt. Jealousy, desire, and voyeuristic fascination combine to become a hunger for her I have never felt before.
That whore, that insatiable slut! So hungry for cock. Is that what she needs? A cock in every hole? I'll fuck you slut, I'll fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk the next day. I'll tear you. I'll bruise you. You want it in your ass don't you? You filthy slut, you fucking filthy slut. I'll give you meat for that hungry cunt! You're gonna be raw. You're gonna hurt. You're gonna FEEL THIS! Is that too much for you, little slut? You can't take it? You're gonna take it! Take it, take it, TAKE IT!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
I Try
Daddy has been unbelievably busy as of late. He's amassing a vast empire in his field, and it's requiring alot of his attention. He's making large strides, and as much as i miss him, i'm really happy to see his ambitions coming to fruition. It's awesome in its most literal meaning.
That's not to say that i didn't feel the strain of his absence. It's been difficult to deal with the coldness and reserve that is Daddy's natural personality which only becomes more austere when read in infrequent text messages, i.m. chats, and the even rarer email. This can be particularly difficult when it isn't tempered with visits that reassure me that he does want me, like me, occasionally spares a thought for me, and doesn't just want to be rid of me. my natural insecurities made me think all sorts of dire scenarios.
And, at the same time, i knew he was busy. Very, very busy. And i kept my growing concerns to myself, and attempted to distract myself. i hung out with Ry a coupla times, worked alot, and developed a new craft project for myself. Still, i was miserable.
i am loathe to bother Daddy with every little apprehension that enters into my head. i am acutely aware of his...constraints...in even the most permissive of situations. More often than not, any anxiety on my part dissipates when i spend a bit of time with him. Daddy makes it allllll better...lol
But i was hesitating to talk to him about this. He's not particularly fond of confrontation, and i didn't want him to think i wasn't understanding the pressure and immediacy all of his projects require. i didn't want to sound whiny or naggy. Daddy would react to that by shutting down, and it wouldn't be a proper representation of what i was going through anyway. Knowing how to talk to Daddy may be one of my most useful skills.
There were some false starts, a bit of misunderstanding, then some clarification, some reminding of "understandings", and then resolution. Yeah! Viva la Resolution! lol
Daddy said he would keep in mind that while i completely understand about his time constraints, and that i feel that i.m.-ing and texts are certainly a viable, albeit limited, substitute for actual visits, i would feel infinitely better about being apart so much if he remembered to treat me sweetly. i had been missing the "princess"s and the "wink" and "smile" emoticons. i know it may sound trivial, but i needed him to say i was good. i needed some validation.
And what a difference in my outlook when he finally told me he thought that i was being very good. That i was being a patient girl, and that was what he needed right now. That he still wanted to play with me, tho there really wouldn't be time for that for a while. D/s requires time, and time is at a premium for Daddy, and i'm willing to forgo the hardcore D/s "scening".
i commented on how "easy" i am, and Daddy agreed. There are few subbies who would be happy with as little attention as i'm paid. And i am happy. Especially when the attention i do receive is praise and appreciation for my patience and "good"-ness. And with the possibility of seeing Daddy in the near future, there may even be some hot material to report... ;)
Fingers crossed! :)
That's not to say that i didn't feel the strain of his absence. It's been difficult to deal with the coldness and reserve that is Daddy's natural personality which only becomes more austere when read in infrequent text messages, i.m. chats, and the even rarer email. This can be particularly difficult when it isn't tempered with visits that reassure me that he does want me, like me, occasionally spares a thought for me, and doesn't just want to be rid of me. my natural insecurities made me think all sorts of dire scenarios.
And, at the same time, i knew he was busy. Very, very busy. And i kept my growing concerns to myself, and attempted to distract myself. i hung out with Ry a coupla times, worked alot, and developed a new craft project for myself. Still, i was miserable.
i am loathe to bother Daddy with every little apprehension that enters into my head. i am acutely aware of his...constraints...in even the most permissive of situations. More often than not, any anxiety on my part dissipates when i spend a bit of time with him. Daddy makes it allllll better...lol
But i was hesitating to talk to him about this. He's not particularly fond of confrontation, and i didn't want him to think i wasn't understanding the pressure and immediacy all of his projects require. i didn't want to sound whiny or naggy. Daddy would react to that by shutting down, and it wouldn't be a proper representation of what i was going through anyway. Knowing how to talk to Daddy may be one of my most useful skills.
There were some false starts, a bit of misunderstanding, then some clarification, some reminding of "understandings", and then resolution. Yeah! Viva la Resolution! lol
Daddy said he would keep in mind that while i completely understand about his time constraints, and that i feel that i.m.-ing and texts are certainly a viable, albeit limited, substitute for actual visits, i would feel infinitely better about being apart so much if he remembered to treat me sweetly. i had been missing the "princess"s and the "wink" and "smile" emoticons. i know it may sound trivial, but i needed him to say i was good. i needed some validation.
And what a difference in my outlook when he finally told me he thought that i was being very good. That i was being a patient girl, and that was what he needed right now. That he still wanted to play with me, tho there really wouldn't be time for that for a while. D/s requires time, and time is at a premium for Daddy, and i'm willing to forgo the hardcore D/s "scening".
i commented on how "easy" i am, and Daddy agreed. There are few subbies who would be happy with as little attention as i'm paid. And i am happy. Especially when the attention i do receive is praise and appreciation for my patience and "good"-ness. And with the possibility of seeing Daddy in the near future, there may even be some hot material to report... ;)
Fingers crossed! :)
Friday, June 27, 2008
Something in the Way
i havn't been able to post recently, for many reasons, not the least of which was because my internet was off for a while. i have it turned on again, but i can't guarentee how much posting i'll be doing. i'm playing it by ear.
i missed the second literary salon because i had to work. D told me that i was definitely missed. Everyone was asking him where i was, and they told him to tell me that they hope i'll be back for the next one. From now on i'll be requesting that day off. i didn't this month only because i don't usually work tuesdays, but my position has changed, therefore so have my hours. Apparently one of the selections read that evening was even dedicated to me...an excerpt from "American Psycho", a book, unbeknownest to the reader, that i enjoy very much.
i saw Daddy last week. i was beaten with various implements. Not for punishment, just for play. It was fun to be beaten again, and when Daddy gave me the choice of implements to be used on me, i ended up choosing the ones He wanted to use.
One of the implements was the sensory deprivation hood. Subspace, wine, and time have blurred my recall of the experience, but i can say with certainty i enjoyed it.
i hope that Daddy will have me for more fun and games soon. And i hope that i can have more comprehensive memories of that time.
i missed the second literary salon because i had to work. D told me that i was definitely missed. Everyone was asking him where i was, and they told him to tell me that they hope i'll be back for the next one. From now on i'll be requesting that day off. i didn't this month only because i don't usually work tuesdays, but my position has changed, therefore so have my hours. Apparently one of the selections read that evening was even dedicated to me...an excerpt from "American Psycho", a book, unbeknownest to the reader, that i enjoy very much.
i saw Daddy last week. i was beaten with various implements. Not for punishment, just for play. It was fun to be beaten again, and when Daddy gave me the choice of implements to be used on me, i ended up choosing the ones He wanted to use.
One of the implements was the sensory deprivation hood. Subspace, wine, and time have blurred my recall of the experience, but i can say with certainty i enjoyed it.
i hope that Daddy will have me for more fun and games soon. And i hope that i can have more comprehensive memories of that time.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Serge Gainsbourg - Lemon Incest
Astrid brought this song to my attention while we still worked at the dungeon. She knew i would enjoy the unsubtle incest theme. Plus she knew i'm a Leonard Cohen fan, and Serge Gainsbourg has been referred to as the "Leonard Cohen of France".
The song is a duet between Serge and his real-life daughter, Charlotte. It's in French, but the vid is hot, in a pretentious, artsy, French, 80's sort of way. i took some time to translate the lyrics. Give it a listen...:)
(Charlotte sings....)
Inceste de citron...Lemon incest
I love you, love you
Love you more than anything
Papa, Papa
(Serge sings)
Naïve like a Nierdoi Saurou* painting
Your kisses are so sweet
Inceste de citron...Lemon incest
I love you, love you
Love you more than anything
Papa, Papa
The love that we'll never make together
Is the most beautiful, rare, the most troubling
The purest, most intoxicating
Exquisite outline
Delicious child
My flesh and blood
Oh my baby, my soul
Inceste de citron...Lemon incest
I love you, love you
Love you more than anything
Papa, Papa
...Repeat...
*The "Nierdoi Saurou" painting alluded to is believed to be an example of Gainsbourg's frequent puns, referring to the painter "Douanier" Henri Rousseau, who is a prominent "niave", or in the U.S. "primitive", painter. Serge is saying Charlotte is as "untaught" as an unschooled artist, at the same time he's implying she has "natural talent". Get it? Fucking hot...
Serge is known for having a biting sense of humor, a love for plays on words, and a penchant for giving "the powers that be" the finger. If your a regular viewer of VH1, then you may have seen a clip of him saying on a French talk show, of which Whitney Houston was also a guest, that he'd "like to fuck" Ms. Houston...to her embarrassed glee. If i'd been her i woulda jumped all over that offer...
Anyway, about the song. Yes, the subject of incestuous contact is the pervasive theme. And, yes, the duet is real life father and daughter. However, it states, explicitly, that they won't be doing anything about the physical attraction they have for each other, at the same time they acknowledge that it exists parallel to the more acceptable parent/child love they also share.
i can't help but admire the affection Serge has for Charlotte, and the songs he's written to illuminate the complicated feelings a Daddy feels for His little girl.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Talk Dirty To Me
i took a big leap the other night. i read a piece of erotica i wrote in front of a bar full of people at the inaugural Erotic Literary Salon. It was a wonderful time, and a nice sized crowd, especially when you consider it was the debut and on a Tuesday!
i wasn't sure i was going to actually read at the salon, or that i would read something i wrote. People were invited to read either their own work or another author's. i vacillated between going or not going for days, and changed my mind on Tuesday at least 3 times. i had contacted some writer friends to go with me, but until Tuesday afternoon i hadn't heard back from them. When my friend D called to tell me he had written something that day for the salon, i made my final decision to attend.
i spent some time chatting online with Ry that day. Ry was encouraging me to blow off the salon because he wanted me to visit with him that night. Daddy had been kind enough to pick out a story for me to read, per my request, and Ry asked me to email him what i intended to read. Ry didn't think the story was very good, i believe the phrase "Penthouse letter" was used to describe it. i wrote it for Daddy in one of the earliest posts on the private blog, and i admit it's not the greatest thing ever written, but i was truly hurt by his "critique".
i really wanted to read the story Daddy had picked out, and i thought that if i did a little re-wording i might be able to improve it a bit before showtime. i began writing it out (i really need to get some ink for my printer), and i realized it was pretty long. i was definitely going to attend the salon, but i hadn't decided whether to read or not, and i didn't want to invest in a story that took alot of time to recite. i decided to copy down a shorter piece, more of a "scene" than a complete story. i also copied out a little 4 line poem i wrote a long, long time ago.
These are the original works i read:
I want hot cinnamon kisses
Sprinkled down my back
Some sweet pepper smack
And a handprint on my ass
i'm playing with my pussy on my father's bed. i have found his porn and toy stash, and i have been cumming for the last hour. The magazines are spread around me and there is a video playing soundlessly on the TV. The hard, red plastic vibrator has been in my cunt and, slowly, inserted into my ass, with no real effect. It was quickly discarded. my fingers are pressed to my soaking wet clit, my ass moving up and down, grinding another orgasm out of my exhausted body. i am sweating, the heat of my body radiating from me, steaming the sheets and pillows. my eyes are squeezed shut, my brow is furrowed, i am about to go over the edge yet again.
i want my father to find me like this. Cumming on his bed. Panting and flushed after imagining him fucking me. i want him to become aroused at the sight of my thighs slick with my own fuck. my cramped glistening fingers curled up on the pillow beside my head. i want him to see between my legs, my still pulsing clit, shuddering under his gaze. i want him to touch me there. He'll wet himself with the juices of my cunt, and straddle me. He will press his cock against my breastbone and gather my tits together. He will fuck me that way, the head of his cock popping into my mouth with every thrust. And when he cums it will be in my hair, splashed across my tits, pooling in the hollow of my throat.
i will be used. i will be desirable. i will arouse. i will be wanted.
i also chose 2 books to read excerpts from; Beauty's Punishment and Topping from Below. The bit from Topping was a description of the main character fucking a dog, and the bit from Beauty was Soldier's Night at the Inn which is a gangbang scene. i chose them for their shock value, and because i wanted to establish right away that there would be no "taboo" topics at the salon. i wanted to establish a precedent for raunchy, filthy extremes, because that's what turns me on, and that's what i write.
When i got to the lounge where the reading was being held, i was asked to sign up to read out loud. There were two bags, one for reading original works and one for reading someone else's. On a slip of paper you were to write your name, the title of the piece, and whether it was "edgy" or "romantic". For all of my submissions (lol) i wrote "edgy" and underlined it with exclamation points. At least they couldn't say they weren't warned...
D arrived a few minutes after me, and we had a cigarette and caught up with each other's lives. The organizer of the event gave a little introductory speech, and introduced a 90-something year old woman who read a short piece she had written. It was very, very cool. She wrote about how she spotted this old guy at her retirement community pool, and their subsequent sex. After she was done reading she gave us the additional information that the sex she had described took place on their first date! Kick ass lady!
Then she started pulling names out of the hat...and guess who's name was chosen first. Yup, me, the big scardey cat who didn't even know if she'd read. And it was from the original works bag, too. i started shaking the minute i heard my name. my heart was racing, and my palms were wet. i'm sure i was flushed from head to toe. i was offered the chance to not go first, but i said i'd do it. i felt lucky and honored, and if i was gonna do it, i was gonna do it, and the only way to do something like that is to just jump into the deep end.
i put the mic on the mic stand with a joke about needing "both hands free", which got a laugh, thank god. The paper was shaking in my hands, and i hoped the audience wasn't noticing. i opened up with the "hot cinnamon kisses" bit, and everyone clapped politely.
Since we had a 5 minute limit, and i was up there already, i read the "father's bed" piece, too. After the first line there was a bit of a murmur, and then absolute silence. i didn't even hear people drinking, no one moved. i read calmly, but with inflection and conviction. i didn't want anyone to think i was ashamed of what i was reading, or that i was in a rush to get through it.
And when i was done, they cheered. i couldn't believe it. They liked it! i mean really liked it. Not polite clapping with accompanying murmurs of snide remarks, but actually enjoyed what i had written. i smiled and giggled back to my seat, and grabbed D's hand to calm myself. i was still shaking, giddy and full of adrenaline when the next person went up. i could barely calm down enough to pay attention to what she was saying.
Eventually i chilled out a bit, and i was able to enjoy the other readers. There was a good combination of original and published works. Another girl read from her own stuff, but i didn't find it very titillating. It was too flowery and obscure for me. i couldn't understand what it was she was describing. Maybe i'm too literal minded for all that. D read his pieces, too, and they were awesome. i knew they would be, tho. He's a really good writer, and he's great at incorporating humor into his pieces without detracting from the sexiness.
Halfway thru there was a break, and all of a sudden D and i were surrounded by people! They were telling us how good they thought our stuff was, and we were asked for our email addresses to join groups. One of the women helping the organizer thanked me for going first, and told me how great she thought i did. i was just shocked, completely shocked. All these people vying for our attention, and telling us how wonderful we were, it was damn heady. i was so flattered, and i got giddy all over again. i am so not poised! lol
D told me how impressed he was with what i had written. He knows how i struggle with writing and that i don't think its particularly good. He says i need to get over my insecurities, and that he wasn't exactly shocked by how good my writing was, but that he was surprised by how well i've progressed since he last heard any of my writing. And believe me, if it was crap he'd say so. lol
After the break there were a few more readers, chosen at random, and then the last name was drawn from the published author bag. Yup, me again. i bookended the event! i read the dog fucking excerpt from Topping first. It opens benignly enough, but the fourth line is "Having sex with the dog was different than i thought it would be," and there were a few gasps and a second of murmuring. But i didn't pause. i kept on reading completely unashamed, and they were absolutely silent again. i had them in the palm of my hand, they were motionless the entire piece. And they loved it, just absolutely loved me going there.
Next i read the chapter from Beauty entitled Soldiers Night at the Inn. It took me a second to find the part i wanted to begin with, the good parts. ;) i read this piece a bit more light heartedly, it sort of lends itself to that. i wanted to give everyone a bit of a respite after the intense taboo of the the dog fucking account i had just read. It was a hit, but can you really go wrong with the Sleeping Beauty Chronicles? ;)
After i read the salon was over, and everyone swarmed D and me again. This time the organizer came over and introduced herself. She was so happy with me. She said that she was so pleased i had read such extreme material, that she had hoped someone would have the courage to do that, and that she had intended for the salon to be a place where people could read things like that. She spoke with D and i for quite a while, and made sure that we would come back for the next salon. D and i have decided to make it a regular monthly date for us, and i look forward to reading even more outrageous writings.
Everyone was very respectful to the readers, but i have to say, when i got up there you could hear a pin drop. Now, since i was first, i could understand that, but by the time i read the published works i felt like they were trusting me to give them something good, something worthwhile. i can't tell you how thrilling and validating that was. i had forgotten what a rush performing is, and to have my own writing so well received was unexpected.
i wished Daddy had been there to see it. i have Him to thank for being the inspiration for my erotic writings. i had written things for boyfriends before, but they never commented about what i had written. my Daddy has always been very encouraging of my writing in general, and very complimentary of my erotica in particular. i know it was me getting all the praise and adulation, but it wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for Daddy. i would've loved for Him to see how well received what i had written for Him was. i never considered reading these things out loud and in public, tho i have posted some of them here.
i would also like to thank you guys for all the encouragement and appreciation you have expressed for my original erotic works. i would also like to particularly thank lg, who was probably the first reader to express an interest in my writing, and a desire to hear more. Thank you all, i can't tell you how much your comments encouraged me to be able to participate in the salon.
:*
i wasn't sure i was going to actually read at the salon, or that i would read something i wrote. People were invited to read either their own work or another author's. i vacillated between going or not going for days, and changed my mind on Tuesday at least 3 times. i had contacted some writer friends to go with me, but until Tuesday afternoon i hadn't heard back from them. When my friend D called to tell me he had written something that day for the salon, i made my final decision to attend.
i spent some time chatting online with Ry that day. Ry was encouraging me to blow off the salon because he wanted me to visit with him that night. Daddy had been kind enough to pick out a story for me to read, per my request, and Ry asked me to email him what i intended to read. Ry didn't think the story was very good, i believe the phrase "Penthouse letter" was used to describe it. i wrote it for Daddy in one of the earliest posts on the private blog, and i admit it's not the greatest thing ever written, but i was truly hurt by his "critique".
i really wanted to read the story Daddy had picked out, and i thought that if i did a little re-wording i might be able to improve it a bit before showtime. i began writing it out (i really need to get some ink for my printer), and i realized it was pretty long. i was definitely going to attend the salon, but i hadn't decided whether to read or not, and i didn't want to invest in a story that took alot of time to recite. i decided to copy down a shorter piece, more of a "scene" than a complete story. i also copied out a little 4 line poem i wrote a long, long time ago.
These are the original works i read:
I want hot cinnamon kisses
Sprinkled down my back
Some sweet pepper smack
And a handprint on my ass
i'm playing with my pussy on my father's bed. i have found his porn and toy stash, and i have been cumming for the last hour. The magazines are spread around me and there is a video playing soundlessly on the TV. The hard, red plastic vibrator has been in my cunt and, slowly, inserted into my ass, with no real effect. It was quickly discarded. my fingers are pressed to my soaking wet clit, my ass moving up and down, grinding another orgasm out of my exhausted body. i am sweating, the heat of my body radiating from me, steaming the sheets and pillows. my eyes are squeezed shut, my brow is furrowed, i am about to go over the edge yet again.
i want my father to find me like this. Cumming on his bed. Panting and flushed after imagining him fucking me. i want him to become aroused at the sight of my thighs slick with my own fuck. my cramped glistening fingers curled up on the pillow beside my head. i want him to see between my legs, my still pulsing clit, shuddering under his gaze. i want him to touch me there. He'll wet himself with the juices of my cunt, and straddle me. He will press his cock against my breastbone and gather my tits together. He will fuck me that way, the head of his cock popping into my mouth with every thrust. And when he cums it will be in my hair, splashed across my tits, pooling in the hollow of my throat.
i will be used. i will be desirable. i will arouse. i will be wanted.
i also chose 2 books to read excerpts from; Beauty's Punishment and Topping from Below. The bit from Topping was a description of the main character fucking a dog, and the bit from Beauty was Soldier's Night at the Inn which is a gangbang scene. i chose them for their shock value, and because i wanted to establish right away that there would be no "taboo" topics at the salon. i wanted to establish a precedent for raunchy, filthy extremes, because that's what turns me on, and that's what i write.
When i got to the lounge where the reading was being held, i was asked to sign up to read out loud. There were two bags, one for reading original works and one for reading someone else's. On a slip of paper you were to write your name, the title of the piece, and whether it was "edgy" or "romantic". For all of my submissions (lol) i wrote "edgy" and underlined it with exclamation points. At least they couldn't say they weren't warned...
D arrived a few minutes after me, and we had a cigarette and caught up with each other's lives. The organizer of the event gave a little introductory speech, and introduced a 90-something year old woman who read a short piece she had written. It was very, very cool. She wrote about how she spotted this old guy at her retirement community pool, and their subsequent sex. After she was done reading she gave us the additional information that the sex she had described took place on their first date! Kick ass lady!
Then she started pulling names out of the hat...and guess who's name was chosen first. Yup, me, the big scardey cat who didn't even know if she'd read. And it was from the original works bag, too. i started shaking the minute i heard my name. my heart was racing, and my palms were wet. i'm sure i was flushed from head to toe. i was offered the chance to not go first, but i said i'd do it. i felt lucky and honored, and if i was gonna do it, i was gonna do it, and the only way to do something like that is to just jump into the deep end.
i put the mic on the mic stand with a joke about needing "both hands free", which got a laugh, thank god. The paper was shaking in my hands, and i hoped the audience wasn't noticing. i opened up with the "hot cinnamon kisses" bit, and everyone clapped politely.
Since we had a 5 minute limit, and i was up there already, i read the "father's bed" piece, too. After the first line there was a bit of a murmur, and then absolute silence. i didn't even hear people drinking, no one moved. i read calmly, but with inflection and conviction. i didn't want anyone to think i was ashamed of what i was reading, or that i was in a rush to get through it.
And when i was done, they cheered. i couldn't believe it. They liked it! i mean really liked it. Not polite clapping with accompanying murmurs of snide remarks, but actually enjoyed what i had written. i smiled and giggled back to my seat, and grabbed D's hand to calm myself. i was still shaking, giddy and full of adrenaline when the next person went up. i could barely calm down enough to pay attention to what she was saying.
Eventually i chilled out a bit, and i was able to enjoy the other readers. There was a good combination of original and published works. Another girl read from her own stuff, but i didn't find it very titillating. It was too flowery and obscure for me. i couldn't understand what it was she was describing. Maybe i'm too literal minded for all that. D read his pieces, too, and they were awesome. i knew they would be, tho. He's a really good writer, and he's great at incorporating humor into his pieces without detracting from the sexiness.
Halfway thru there was a break, and all of a sudden D and i were surrounded by people! They were telling us how good they thought our stuff was, and we were asked for our email addresses to join groups. One of the women helping the organizer thanked me for going first, and told me how great she thought i did. i was just shocked, completely shocked. All these people vying for our attention, and telling us how wonderful we were, it was damn heady. i was so flattered, and i got giddy all over again. i am so not poised! lol
D told me how impressed he was with what i had written. He knows how i struggle with writing and that i don't think its particularly good. He says i need to get over my insecurities, and that he wasn't exactly shocked by how good my writing was, but that he was surprised by how well i've progressed since he last heard any of my writing. And believe me, if it was crap he'd say so. lol
After the break there were a few more readers, chosen at random, and then the last name was drawn from the published author bag. Yup, me again. i bookended the event! i read the dog fucking excerpt from Topping first. It opens benignly enough, but the fourth line is "Having sex with the dog was different than i thought it would be," and there were a few gasps and a second of murmuring. But i didn't pause. i kept on reading completely unashamed, and they were absolutely silent again. i had them in the palm of my hand, they were motionless the entire piece. And they loved it, just absolutely loved me going there.
Next i read the chapter from Beauty entitled Soldiers Night at the Inn. It took me a second to find the part i wanted to begin with, the good parts. ;) i read this piece a bit more light heartedly, it sort of lends itself to that. i wanted to give everyone a bit of a respite after the intense taboo of the the dog fucking account i had just read. It was a hit, but can you really go wrong with the Sleeping Beauty Chronicles? ;)
After i read the salon was over, and everyone swarmed D and me again. This time the organizer came over and introduced herself. She was so happy with me. She said that she was so pleased i had read such extreme material, that she had hoped someone would have the courage to do that, and that she had intended for the salon to be a place where people could read things like that. She spoke with D and i for quite a while, and made sure that we would come back for the next salon. D and i have decided to make it a regular monthly date for us, and i look forward to reading even more outrageous writings.
Everyone was very respectful to the readers, but i have to say, when i got up there you could hear a pin drop. Now, since i was first, i could understand that, but by the time i read the published works i felt like they were trusting me to give them something good, something worthwhile. i can't tell you how thrilling and validating that was. i had forgotten what a rush performing is, and to have my own writing so well received was unexpected.
i wished Daddy had been there to see it. i have Him to thank for being the inspiration for my erotic writings. i had written things for boyfriends before, but they never commented about what i had written. my Daddy has always been very encouraging of my writing in general, and very complimentary of my erotica in particular. i know it was me getting all the praise and adulation, but it wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for Daddy. i would've loved for Him to see how well received what i had written for Him was. i never considered reading these things out loud and in public, tho i have posted some of them here.
i would also like to thank you guys for all the encouragement and appreciation you have expressed for my original erotic works. i would also like to particularly thank lg, who was probably the first reader to express an interest in my writing, and a desire to hear more. Thank you all, i can't tell you how much your comments encouraged me to be able to participate in the salon.
:*
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Boys Against Girls
my trip to Vegas to be with Daddy for the weekend was a complete success!! Huzzah!
Daddy's friends M and J liked me very much, particularly M. i even got along with L, the girl J flew in as his companion for the weekend. Getting along with Daddy's friends/business partners was the thing that had me the most nervous about the trip. i had never met them before, and Daddy had told me that M would have lots of questions for me about Daddy's and my D/s.
The first night W/we went out to dinner at a really awesome sushi place, Osaka. Daddy, M, and i had alot of fun discussing J and L. i had met L briefly before she and J left for their own evening out, but i hadn't really gotten an impression of her. Daddy and M weren't terribly impressed by her, and i tried not to be too influenced by what T/they said. i didn't want to be unfair to her, maybe she was as nervous about meeting J's friends as i was to meet Daddy's, and hadn't made the best impression because of it. i could understand that.
After T/they gave me the lowdown on J and L, M began a relentless questioning that lasted the rest of the night. It wasn't so much interrogation as boundless curiosity, and he was very charming and accepting. i think M was even a little impressed. i told him that i can have my own ideas and opinions of things, and Daddy even allows me to be a bit of a smartass, as long as it doesn't get out of hand, because i think He enjoys it. i told M that i found submission liberating, that it freed me from having to make decisions all the time. That Daddy's the boss, and that i feel comfortable settling into that, that it makes me feel safe.
At that point M called his girlfriend so i could tell her that. Daddy said i had to talk to her even tho i had never met her! But she was, surprisingly easy to talk to, and she was funny and outgoing , and teasingly told me not to let T/them push me around. Daddy didn't get angry about that, but just laughed. i was glad about that, because she really did sound like a fun person, and i don't think Daddy minded me listening to her say that. Daddy knew it was just her being friendly.
You wouldn't believe what T/they did to me at dinner tho!!! Daddy pays close attention to my alcohol intake when i am with Him, and i only drink what He permits me to have. W/we got some beers and a bottle of saki with dinner, and Daddy had poured me some of each. W/we all chatted easily, and i was trying to be as articulate as possible about D/s for M. i finished my glass of beer, and M poured me another. Up until that point i had only drank what Daddy had given me with His own hands, so i looked over to Daddy to ask if it was ok for me to drink it.
M said for me to just drink the beer, nevermind Daddy. But Daddy asked me if i was going to listen to M. i said of course not, and then Daddy said that i wasn't allowed to, but He used His stern voice. i was confused by His tone. i was being good, why was Daddy using His stern voice?
Then M picked up the glass of beer and put it to my mouth. i clamped my lips shut and tried to pull my head back away from the glass. Daddy was saying not to drink the beer, and to let it pour down my chin before i let it into my mouth. M was telling me to drink. i felt some beer drip down my cleavage, and i was scared i'd smell like beer all night.
Then i felt M pinch my nose closed, and i closed my eyes. i just concentrated on sitting very, very still. i kept my lips tight together, and i could feel the cold beer against my mouth. i didn't hear M or Daddy anymore. i didn't think about people watching us. i didn't even think about my inability to breathe. All i thought about was not drinking that fucking beer.
i don't know how long it went on. It felt like forever , but the whole thing couldn't have been more than a few minutes. M released my nose and the glass disappeared. i think Daddy said something like, "good girl" and "I told you she wouldn't drink it." i think i heard that, i'm not sure. i wiped my mouth and realized where W/we were, and i said "Y/you two are gonna get U/us all arrested!" and all 3 of U/us laughed.
Daddy told me that M later said that while T/they were "scening" with me he felt that time stood still, and the rest of the restaurant disappeared. Until i heard that i hadn't realized i had gone into subspace. i always get so fuzzy when i go into it, and i don't always realize until afterwards that i've been in subspace. Apparently, M had experienced his first foray into Domspace that night with me and Daddy.
i don't know if they had pre-planned the scene. Daddy wouldn't usually take such big risks in public. Anyone of those people in the restaurant could've jumped to my "rescue". During O/our scene the entire restaurant fell silent, and W/we were sitting at the bar, so all the sushi chefs had a front row seat! LMAO No doubt they were all put at ease when i cracked a joke and the 3 of U/us laughed, and W/we probably gave them a great story to recount to friends. lol
Daddy's friends M and J liked me very much, particularly M. i even got along with L, the girl J flew in as his companion for the weekend. Getting along with Daddy's friends/business partners was the thing that had me the most nervous about the trip. i had never met them before, and Daddy had told me that M would have lots of questions for me about Daddy's and my D/s.
The first night W/we went out to dinner at a really awesome sushi place, Osaka. Daddy, M, and i had alot of fun discussing J and L. i had met L briefly before she and J left for their own evening out, but i hadn't really gotten an impression of her. Daddy and M weren't terribly impressed by her, and i tried not to be too influenced by what T/they said. i didn't want to be unfair to her, maybe she was as nervous about meeting J's friends as i was to meet Daddy's, and hadn't made the best impression because of it. i could understand that.
After T/they gave me the lowdown on J and L, M began a relentless questioning that lasted the rest of the night. It wasn't so much interrogation as boundless curiosity, and he was very charming and accepting. i think M was even a little impressed. i told him that i can have my own ideas and opinions of things, and Daddy even allows me to be a bit of a smartass, as long as it doesn't get out of hand, because i think He enjoys it. i told M that i found submission liberating, that it freed me from having to make decisions all the time. That Daddy's the boss, and that i feel comfortable settling into that, that it makes me feel safe.
At that point M called his girlfriend so i could tell her that. Daddy said i had to talk to her even tho i had never met her! But she was, surprisingly easy to talk to, and she was funny and outgoing , and teasingly told me not to let T/them push me around. Daddy didn't get angry about that, but just laughed. i was glad about that, because she really did sound like a fun person, and i don't think Daddy minded me listening to her say that. Daddy knew it was just her being friendly.
You wouldn't believe what T/they did to me at dinner tho!!! Daddy pays close attention to my alcohol intake when i am with Him, and i only drink what He permits me to have. W/we got some beers and a bottle of saki with dinner, and Daddy had poured me some of each. W/we all chatted easily, and i was trying to be as articulate as possible about D/s for M. i finished my glass of beer, and M poured me another. Up until that point i had only drank what Daddy had given me with His own hands, so i looked over to Daddy to ask if it was ok for me to drink it.
M said for me to just drink the beer, nevermind Daddy. But Daddy asked me if i was going to listen to M. i said of course not, and then Daddy said that i wasn't allowed to, but He used His stern voice. i was confused by His tone. i was being good, why was Daddy using His stern voice?
Then M picked up the glass of beer and put it to my mouth. i clamped my lips shut and tried to pull my head back away from the glass. Daddy was saying not to drink the beer, and to let it pour down my chin before i let it into my mouth. M was telling me to drink. i felt some beer drip down my cleavage, and i was scared i'd smell like beer all night.
Then i felt M pinch my nose closed, and i closed my eyes. i just concentrated on sitting very, very still. i kept my lips tight together, and i could feel the cold beer against my mouth. i didn't hear M or Daddy anymore. i didn't think about people watching us. i didn't even think about my inability to breathe. All i thought about was not drinking that fucking beer.
i don't know how long it went on. It felt like forever , but the whole thing couldn't have been more than a few minutes. M released my nose and the glass disappeared. i think Daddy said something like, "good girl" and "I told you she wouldn't drink it." i think i heard that, i'm not sure. i wiped my mouth and realized where W/we were, and i said "Y/you two are gonna get U/us all arrested!" and all 3 of U/us laughed.
Daddy told me that M later said that while T/they were "scening" with me he felt that time stood still, and the rest of the restaurant disappeared. Until i heard that i hadn't realized i had gone into subspace. i always get so fuzzy when i go into it, and i don't always realize until afterwards that i've been in subspace. Apparently, M had experienced his first foray into Domspace that night with me and Daddy.
i don't know if they had pre-planned the scene. Daddy wouldn't usually take such big risks in public. Anyone of those people in the restaurant could've jumped to my "rescue". During O/our scene the entire restaurant fell silent, and W/we were sitting at the bar, so all the sushi chefs had a front row seat! LMAO No doubt they were all put at ease when i cracked a joke and the 3 of U/us laughed, and W/we probably gave them a great story to recount to friends. lol
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