Careful What You Wish For...

From a few weeks ago...

Apparently I succumbed to the bravado of internet sex blogging. Or maybe it was the bright light of day that caused me to be so shy. Maybe my big mouth got me into trouble once again. Possibly, I didn't take into account how long it's been since I had to submit to things, and am so out of practice with it, that I froze.



M had me crouched in the froggie position pressing down on my back so my chest was squshed against the bed, my forehead sunk into the mattress. Behind my left ear I could hear him murmuring to me, "What was that you wanted to do? What did you write on your blog? Hmmmm? Did you write filthy things about your ass?"



My face burned with embarassment, and I lost my voice. I just pushed my face into the comforter trying to hide my shame. I hoped he wouldn't ask me a question I would be expected to answer. I didn't want to admit to the graphic acts I had admitted to. I could feel how hard he was through his underwear as he pinned me down continuing his verbal teasing.



He touched my clit and I sheddered and squirmed unable to get away. My cheeks were aflame from his words and my growing desire. He has to know what the sound of his voice, combined with his touch, does to me by now. He's witnessed the effect he has on me, can feel from the wetness of my pussy. He said, " I know you like this. I know someone likes this, because she's so wet right now. Do you know how wet you are? Can you feel how soaked your pussy is?"



He released me and stood beside the bed, telling me to take his cock out and suck it. When I took him into my mouth I could taste the precum that had begun to ooze out of the head of his cock. That familiar saltiness covered my tongue and sent a thrilling shiver straight to my cunt. I love when I get him that turned on. When I began to bob up and down on his cock, he told me to look at myself in the mirror. I stole a quick glance , but my shyness, and the angle I was kneeling in, prevented me from looking longer.



M turned me around and crouched me down into the froggie position again, covering me with his body. He slid the tip of his cock into me and moved back and forth teasing me with his cock and his voice, "You're such a slut, you'll do anything for my cock won't you? You want more, whore? Only whores beg for cock. If you want more you have to beg for it. Do you want more?"



I could barely form the words, but I wanted more. He had to ask me again before I found the courage to beg him for all of his cock. And he gave it to me, pushing all the way in. He gave me a few more thrusts before he asked me if I wanted him to "make it hurt", and I immediately cried out "Yes, please! Make it hurt, please!" And he slammed into me so hard, and he was butting up against my cervix, and it hurt so deliciously it took my breathe away, and I was gasping and grunting.



I leaned up all the way sitting upright with him still inside of me, but I couldn't get the friction or depth I was craving. I spun around (almost falling off the bed!), and straddled him. He layed down flat and I worked my hips down on his cock. He was so hard and so deeply buried inside of me, it wasn't long before I was close to cumming. I felt the heat spreading down from my face through my neck and across my chest that preludes my orgasms. But M had to stop me by placing his hands on my hips so he could control his own orgasm, explaining in a strained whisper, "I don't want to cum, yet".



After he had regained control, I was able to bring myself to orgasm twice before he flipped me onto my back to plow into me, reaching his own orgasm. He came all over my stomach and chest while I cupped his balls in my left hand, and collapsed to the left of me. He dipped his fingers into the cum splattered across me and fed it to me. I lapped and sucked on his fingers accepting all that he wanted to give me.



Once I'd cleaned off we laid in bed chatting. We laughed alot, more than we have in a while, and it felt so good to be so physically close to him again. He feels so good in my arms and my fingers twirling in his curls. I propped my chin on his chest to smirk at his pleasure. He told me I was beautiful, and I just smirked and kissed his mouth.

Cool As A Cucumber

I hadn't heard from M during the day, but that's not so unusual. He's on jury duty this week (seriously, that's not some new hipster term for some other activity, actual jury duty)and he gets out around 4:30, and I expected a call soon after that. I had makeup on from a session I had done earlier in the day, and my hair I hadn't even bothered with because it was a rainy blustery day and it would just have been ruined anyway. I did shave my legs.

6pm comes and goes and I start keeping my phone closer to me. 7pm comes and goes and I start looking at it even when I haven't heard the buzz for a text message. 8pm comes and goes and I send a text message and attempt to call him. No reply to text, no answer to my calls. I begin to think things like "accident", "break-up", and I keep an eye on my email expecting an "I'm Sorry" message to appear telling me M will not be coming, now or ever. 9pm he calls, no explanation beyond, "Ive been feeling run down," and he's on his way. Ummm, ok. Fine.

Footfalls on the stairs and M arrives. Kisses. Chit chat. Pizza. I'm wondering why he's late, but I also know he went on a date yesterday, and I'm curious how it went. When I ask him about the date, he lies at first. It's pretty half hearted, and I just look at him and shake my head. I don't believe him, and I don't make a secret of it. Then, out comes the truth.

He saw Rachel and they fucked. Later, I was to find out she marked him. She had bitten into his shoulder, in two places, leaving hickeys, as well as raking her nails across his shoulder blade and digging into his bicep/tricep. They did it once, and he spent the night because it was late. It was at her place. I asked a lot of questions, and he answered them.

At no time did I lose my shit. I stayed calm and listened to everything. I told M that I have a harder time dealing with him kissing, cuddling, and looking at another girl the way he does with me, than I do with the idea of him fucking some girl. I told him that her marking him pisses me off, I don't even leave marks on him. I pointed out that I wasn't screaming and crying or throwing shit around, and he said, "Not outwardly." I said, "Well, that's what really matters." I told him that I find him sexier when he tells me the truth and shares things with me that he normally would try to lie about. I told him that when he trusts me with the truth, it creates more intimacy with him.

He held my face in his hands, made sure I was looking him in the eyes, and he told me he would never leave me for her. He was emphatic that they had used a condom, and that if he fucked her again he would continue to. He told me that he doesn't tell me he loves me, not because he doesn't love me, he doesn't say 'I love you," because it seems to him to be hypocritical to say it if he's fucking other girls. He said he doesn't kiss other girls like he kisses me, that it's easy to kiss me, and it always has been. He tells me that when he looked into the mirror and saw the marks on his shoulder that (not surprisingly) his first thought was of me, and he became upset knowing that it would upset me to see it. He told me he was much more appreciative of me than he lets on.

He thanked me for not going insane. He had been so nervous about telling me, but that he had also known he was going to. He had been late because he was scared and anxious about telling me he'd fucked another girl, but that he knew he had to because I had told him that I wanted to know when he did. He was very scared to have me see the marks on his shoulder. He said he was dreading me seeing it.

I thought about establishing some ground rules, and M said I was entitled to lay some down. I don't think I will, tho. It seems that may be setting him up to fail, and if he breaks one of the "rules" he'd be even more reluctant to tell me about it. I offered my opinion that I felt the other girls should know about me, but that it was up to him to decide if he wanted to tell them.

I'm not happy that he fucked another girl, it doesn't turn me on. In fact, it was much more difficult, in spite of the increased feeling of intimacy, to have the very small weak orgasm that I ended up with that night. I don't enjoy the idea of the man I love spending time, energy, affection, or attention on someone(s) else. It does not please me to have images pop into my head, unbidden, of him with other girls.

I am happy that he told me, and answered my questions honestly. It turns me on that he trusts me, and I enjoy feeling closer to him. It makes him more attractive to me. I'm pleased with myself for not going ape shit, tho he admitted I was certainly within my rights to.

M was so relieved, and I think he felt better telling me the truth instead of lying about what happened. I knew he would be, but I don't think he knew how liberating honesty was going to be for him. He kept saying how "awesome" I was, and how grateful he was for me not flipping out.

He should be grateful, dammit. I am awesome. I teased him, using my wit to diffuse my hurt and anger. I didn't insult him, instead telling him that he's insecure and wants new girls to affirm his attractiveness and sexiness. I pointed out that it wasn't that he couldn't have sex with me whenever he wanted, but the novel and new was what he was after.

Makes no sense to me why he would want to have sub par sex with random chicks when he has a kinky, loving, hot for his cock chick in me. It's not like our sex is boring or has dipped in any way. He's as hot for me as I am for him; he gets hard with me as easily and quickly as I get wet for him. He loves the feel of my body curled around him and laid across him. He loves Saturdays when we lay in bed, venturing out for coffee and tamales, then burrowing back under the covers to snuggle some more, fuck, laugh, and talk. He says he can't believe that our weekly visit still drains all the stress of the week out of him; that he leaves rejuvenated.

I'm dealing with it all fairly well. I love him, so what can I do? Mari and I have talked about this before, and I've told her that I want to be with him, and my dilemma is that if I were to tell him I didn't want to see him anymore, it would be a lie. So, I'm with him because I want to be, and he wants to be with me, and that's how it is right now.

Welcome to My World

Well, M officially became a sex worker. Heh heh

M participated in a session with me and it was one super hot session! I don't usually talk about my sessions on here, but O my holy hell was it hot!

It was a cuckolding session, and it was perfectly designed for M and I. I had previously discussed with M what he thought about maybe being in session with me should I get an inquiry about a cuckolding session. He had expressed interest, but until I actually had a session for us, I wasn't sure if he'd do it. I was also concerned that he may have a bit of performance anxiety, he's never done anything like that before so it was a concern. Most guys think they can do it, but very few actually can.

M and I talked about how we'd act with each other, and the sub wasn't interested in anything "bi", so we decided that M would have no contact, verbal or physical, with him. Tho I did make the sub thank M for coming after it was done. That made M and I giggle. ;)

When I called M up to the room he managed to control his awe at the accommodations. It was a very nice hotel, and a great big bad that was going to be our stage. The sub was blindfolded, which I think help all involved. M was a little disappointed that the bound sub wouldn't be able to see, but the sub was nervous so I indulged his request.

M told me to get naked except for my high heels and when he reached between my thighs M teased me about being wet before he even did anything to me. That shouldn't surprise him, even his kisses get me soaked!

M said later that he was a little nervous when we began, but that mostly he was excited. I didn't notice any nervousness when he told me to suck his cock as he unzipped his pants. I took him into my mouth and he was hard in no time. I slurped and moaned loudly, wanting the sub to know exactly what I was doing. I'm vocal anyway, but M is usually less so, so when I heard M say that "it was a shame that he was blindfolded because I love watching her suck my cock," I was pleasantly surprised.

In fact, M talked the whole time, and moaned and groaned throughout. He wasn't faking any of the pleasure he was feeling, but since the sub remained blindfolded he could only hear what we were doing. And he got to hear me orgasm, twice, as I bounced on M's cock.

The most intense part tho was when M put me on the floor between the cuckolded sub tied open legs. This was something that M had told me he wanted me to do before when we were still in only the talking phase of him sessioning with me. M wanted the sub to really feel me getting fucked, to have my body bumping up against his legs, and to give him a real taste of what he'll never have.

M tossed a pillow onto the floor for me, and entered me roughly from behind while I gripped the legs of the sub. I was sweating, and groaning, and M was plowing into me. M's fingers dug into my hips and he pulled my back onto his cock as he thrust in. He bottomed out deep in my cervix. It was the most delicious pain, and it had me screaming.

The sub could feel my shoulders bouncing off of his knees, and I tried not to claw at him too much, but it was difficult! Heh heh. I reached up to pinch at his nipples, teasing him about how I love getting fucked by a "real man". I'm sure that the pillow below me was dampened with my pussy juices. My thighs were smeared with it. I'm sure the sub could smell the sex just as well as he could hear it.

M came hard, and we were panting with exhausted pleasure. We looked at each other smiling, and M kissed me. I got dressed while M straightened up the room and got dressed himself. I gave him a kiss at the door and told him I'd meet him downstairs. The sub was overwhelmed by the intensity of the session, and I have to say I was flying high from it, too. I stayed with him a bit to make sure he'd be okay, and gave him a hug when I left.

I was impressed with M. I couldn't believe how well he did the first time. He'd never seen me in session before either, and he told me afterwards that he thought it was very sexy, and that, even with his limited experience, he could see how good I was. He was just as impressed with me as I was with him. :) And both of us are excited about the prospect of doing it again. M even told me the other day that he "really wants to do it again."

I may be many things, but at least I'm not boring! Ha ha! :D