Friday, November 30, 2007

laani is....

an amazing cook
Daddy's girl

Thank You, Daddy, for responding to my "Daddy is..." post with Your own list of what i am. i can't tell You how much pleasure You bring Your little girl, but i suspect You know already.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Hurt So Good

Daddy bent me over the armrest of the couch. my skirt was bunched up around my waist and i still had my boots on. i was soaked already from His fingers tickling my clit.

Daddy didn't even take my fence net pantyhose off. He just poked his fingers thru the large diamond hole over my slit, spread me open, and pressed His cock into me. i pushed back into Him, my ass high in the air, my chin coming to rest on the armrest and my chest on the couch cushion.

My neck was up against the inside of the armrest constricting my windpipe. i could feel my face turning red, but i couldn't move. Daddy had His right hand gripping my shoulder and His left hand was clamped down on my hip. i could feel my throat tickling, and i tried to take gasping breathes when He pulled back before bearing back down into me.

His thrusting grew harder and faster. He released my shoulder and grabbed my ponytail forcing my head further back.

His cock had to be bottoming out. i swear i felt Him battering my cervix. He was so deep. It hurt. It hurt so good. A relentless, blunted, stabbing pain. It knocked everything else out of my head.

i love when Daddy does this. Uses me without concern for my comfort. i love withstanding harsh, rough fucking that leaves my cunt aching deep inside. i love to carry that throbbing ache around with me.

A reminder i was useful to Daddy. A reminder i was completely had.

An invisible mark of ownership that only i know.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Import from Pvt. Blog

It amuses Daddy that i get nervous around Him.

Daddy will stalk me. He turns the full power of His undivided attention on me, surrounding my body with His. i curl up small, shrinking into myself. i lower my eyes and tuck my chin into my chest. my heart beats faster and i shift around on my feet. i crave being next to my Daddy, but i find it overwhelming to have Him so focused on me.

It is His prerogative to steal away my personal space. It is only mine in the sense that it is the area around me, but it does not belong to me. It is never more apparent than when He traps me against a wall or some immovable object and leans into me. Daddy will purr into my ear what He wants to do to me, or He will tease me about the shyness and anxiety i'm feeling because of His proximity to me.

If ever i am unsure of my place, this serves to remind me of what i am. It makes me submit instantly.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Daddy is...

a narcissist.
an artist.
not easily impressed.
in demand.
sexy as hell.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Daddy is Practicing Shibari

Daddy is learning Shibari. He saw some demonstrations on His last trip and picked up some new ideas and techniques. He's been practicing on me, and He says i'm a good little rope model 'cause i don't squirm or complain. His goal is to move onto suspension, but He's either gotta get a quad or install a pulley in His back shed.

Daddy likes to take pictures......:D

I loooooove to be bound. So i am very pleased with this new hobby of Daddy's. i do not mind being twisted this way and that as He practices. And i can sit for hours as He checks, adjusts, and reties me. Heck, i'll do anything to keep His hands on me!

Besides, i also looooove to be suspended. My friend Astrid used to suspend me at the dungeon we worked in, and i would giggle the whole time. i would be up way longer than i should've been, just because i didn't want to come down! Too bad my camera got stolen, because the pictures were pretty cool.

Daddy was practicing on me last night and He gave me a chest harness then bound up my pussy. It's hard to explain how it was tied, but there was a knot right above my clit and then the rope went along either side of my labia and then between my cheeks and then a knot. It was very secure and didn't slide around. It was very comfortable and snug. Daddy was even able to fuck me with it on.

i don't think those pics are gonna be public, tho...;)

Daddy also made contact with a girl to participate in a little game with U/us.

Daddy had expressed interest in possibly having another girl join in. He wants to see me Dom a girl, but i don't know if i can be Dommy with Daddy around. Plus, i wasn't really sure i could handle another chick and Daddy getting together in front of me.

While considering if i could handle it, i found myself fantasizing a particular scenario. i wrote a story for Daddy about it. Daddy liked the story so much He decided to take steps to recreate the fantasy, and it looks like it'll be happening soon.

He says if it's fun then W/we'll probably do it again. He's already got another girl lined up for a second go around!

i asked Him who gets to decide if it's "fun". Daddy says He'll know.

Daddy says to trust Him, and i do. Daddy will take care of me.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Very Old Private Blog Post

Some random thoughts about my recent visit.......

Daddy has been very sweet about my bad moods when they don't contribute to me being naughty. i appreciate His concern with things that upset me. As i've stated many times, i don't like to burden Him with displeasing moods. But i am emotional and i get overwhelmed sometimes. It is difficult for me to let hurt feelings go. Daddy has been very supportive of me when this happens, and i want Him to know i am thankful for it.

i had such a great time with Daddy this visit. Daddy gave me some unbelievably powerful orgasms Tuesday night. His cock is breathtaking. When Daddy presses into me, filling me all the way, i go out of myself. He pulls out a bit, and then plunges right back in, filling me to capacity all over again. He concentrates on the pressure and placment of His cock, and gadges my reactions. i love to look up at Him, knowing that it's my Daddy, and only my Daddy, that can make me feel like this. Daddy asked me what my orgasms are like once, and it's so hard to describe because i'm so not in my right mind when i experience them.

When Daddy is stuffing me full of His cock, it is more than my cunt being filled. It's as though my entire body has been entered and i become His creature completely. i can hear the blood rushing around in my head. i forget to breathe. my clit twitches, my cunt shudders. It can be so overwhelming that sometimes i feel like i will cry from pleasure. Daddy's cock can hurt me sometimes due to His size, but it is a most exquisite kind of pain. A pain i crave.

Daddy let me drink last night. i was beginning to become belligerent so Daddy scooped up my glass and emptied it over His shoulder in one fluid, decisive motion. He was becoming displeased with my behavior, and He took immediate action to correct it.

i want to be good, and i feel disappointed in myself when i need to be corrected. i am grateful Daddy is patient enough with me to train His little girl to be better. He knows i want to please Him, and that it will be necessary from time to time to react quickly to correct me before i go too far. i find this very erotic. i would much prefer to have Daddy head off my bad behavior until i am skilled enough to always be able to do what is expected of me, than to hang myself with the long, indulgent leash i am kept on.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Daddy and His little girl

i'm no expert, that should be pretty clear to all. Tho i have had many jobs in the sex industry, most recently working as a Pro Domme, my experience in the BDSM life is limited. Sure, i had read the Beauty Chronicles (who hasn't?), and had received some spanking here and there from boyfriends, and was bound once or twice with clothesline. But none of them could go so far as to play "Daddy" with me. i could never tell any of them all the dark, scary things i tell Daddy.

Look! My first cropping....awwwwwwww........;)

Daddy had more experience than me, but has never played as hard as W/we do. He has told me that, with me, He gets into a "Dom space", just as i go into a sub space. Daddy has had girls before who wanted to play as W/we do. He says He didn't have the chemistry with them that He has with me. They didn't make Him feel like a Daddy.

i called Him "Daddy" the first night W/we were together. It came about organically, W/we didn't discuss whether either of U/us was comfortable with it. It just popped out of my mouth, and He didn't recoil. The next day He sent me an email, and signed it "Daddy". As serendipitous as it sounds, that's the way it began. We didn't meet with the intention of starting a D/s interaction. Daddy says W/we must have "smelled" it on each other.

i like to research. When Daddy and i started moving in this direction more and more, i wanted to know as much as i could. i began reading anything i could find online or in books about BDSM in general and D/lg in particular. And what i found was a mountain of conflicting views about BDSM and virtually nothing about D/lg.

It began to upset me. i thought i was a bad submissive after reading some of the essays and sample slave contracts. i talked to Daddy about it and He, very wisely, reminded me that W/we have our own unique dynamic, and that as long as i'm pleasing Him then i'm being "good". Sigh of relief. Sage Daddy.

It looks like D/lg makes others in the BDSM world nervous. But, in my experience, only starting at a certain age. The older folks seem very squeamish about it. They don't seem to mind the ABs (adult babies), but talk about an older guy playing with a girl who acts and appears significantly young, then the outrage begins. Possibly it's because they have kids, and the idea freaks them out. Possibly it's because they worry about the persecution of people in the BDSM world they already deal with, and adding the illusion of some incestual fantasies would invite scrutiny they could do without.

Either way it made me feel isolated. i couldn't find info about D/lg experiences. There were a couple of essays and one really good site called Little Girl Lost, but it doesn't seem to be updated anymore. i didn't have anyone else to read until i came here, and found all the wonderful journals about other people's experiences.

So, i don't care about "getting it right". i care about "getting laani right for Daddy", Old Guard be damned. Maybe there's a reason why it's the Old Guard. Maybe it was obsolete, and needed to be replaced.

It's the most intense type of relationship i have ever had. It's intoxicating. And if Daddy is pleased and i'm pleased with making Him happy, then i don't care what anyone thinks.


Today is the first time i ever saw Daddy on webcam...

So, no big deal, right? Except it totally took my breathe away.


It effected me just as if He was here. The fact that it was jumpy and 2-D didn't change my physical response at all. my stomach went all melted butter and my pulse raced. i got nervous and breathy just like i do when i'm with Him. i even got a little twitchy and shakey, but that bit might have been the newness of the medium.

He looked gorgeous. Absolutely handsome. But then He always does. i shouldn't expect Him to appear otherwise. my fingers itched to touch Him. His mouth was delicious looking. i wanted to unbutton His shirt and kiss from His neck over His chest and down His stomach. i wanted His cock. i couldn't smell, touch, taste, or hear Daddy, but He might as well have been standing in front of me with His mouth to my ear for the way my body instantly reacted to Him.

i am so owned.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Another Import from the Private Blog

A few things that make me wet...........

"Who's pussy is this?"
"Yours, Daddy."
"That's right. This belongs to Me. you belong to Me."

On my knees, Daddy above me, covering me in His piss. Marking His territory.

W(h)orshipping Daddy's cock with my mouth.
W(h)orshipping Daddy's ass with my tongue, lips, and fingers.

Daddy pressing His body to me, preventing me from squirming away. Being surrounded by Him. my eyes seeing nothing but Him. my nose filled with the scent of His body. His whispers in my ear.

Being tied to Daddy's bed. Restrained. At His mercy. To be played with or beaten. Either way.

Daddy's fingers sliding the hood of my clit back, exposing me to His fingers, His tongue, His eyes......

Being objectified. Reduced to a warm mannequin, to be arranged and used for Daddy's pleasure.

Limits. Limits to what i can do with other boys. The boundary between what is my decision to give, and what Daddy allows me to offer. That line turns me on.

Explicit instruction. Instructions as to what to wear (or not wear). Directives to perform for Him. Direction to prepare myself in specific ways.

"you're my pretty little girl."

"you're Daddy's good little whore." be added to in the future....

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

From the Private Blog

i gave Daddy His birthday present last night.......
Daddy wanted to watch me get hit on by a guy, so W/e went to a local bar to try it out. i was very nervous, because i didn't want to let Daddy down. i was worried that i may sit at the bar and not have anyone be interested in talking to me. i ususally don't have difficulty meeting guys at bars, but i could sit there for a long time before someone came up to me.

As it happened, i wasn't there for 5 minutes before i was approached by an older guy for a younger guy who was too nervous to come up to me. i didn't think it was exactly what Daddy and i were looking for. What W/e needed was someone who is aggressive, confident, and attractive, but it was slim pickings and i decided to go with it.Daddy walked by when i was still talking to the older guy. i tried not to look at Him, but He's my Daddy and His presence is very strong.

There weren't alot of people at the bar, and neither Daddy nor i had ever been in it before. W/e stood out, particularly Daddy. i think that maybe W/e were too close to each other, even tho W/e were on oppisite sides of the bar. i think W/e radiate our attraction to each other, and that other people feel it. The other people at the bar may not have realized that Daddy and i were there together, but they probably felt the shift of the room energy. Maybe i'm wrong, maybe it's just me who feels it.........

Either way, i tried to direct it into my conversation with L, the young guy. L was the subject of my undivided attention, at least that's how it looked to everyone but Daddy. Daddy knew that i was there for Him. That what i was doing was not for L or even for myself, but was because He wanted me to do this for His amusement.

The original objective was for me to make Daddy jealous, but i think what ended up happening was that Daddy was proud of me. He was proud of my performance, my skill at flirting. Daddy knows already how well i can make someone feel cared for and catered to, but seeing it directed towards someone else at His command probably made Daddy feel very Dominant.

Daddy very wickedly began to play significant songs on the jukebox. They put a smile on my face, and i kept saying how much i liked each song when it came on. i shouldn't have said anything, but i felt nervous being the center of Daddy's concentrated attention. i knew He was watching me, critiquing what i was doing. i didn't know while i was talking to L if i was doing a good job, or even if i was giving Daddy what He wanted to see.

This was our first attempt at something like this, but i suspect that Daddy will want to do it again. He seemed to enjoy it.

Daddy knew that no matter what L said or did, i would be going home with Him. i think Daddy felt complimented by L's attraction for me. Like i was a very pretty little exotic pet that belonged to Daddy, but that He takes out to be envied by others. i enjoy being an object belonging to Daddy. It fills me with joy to belong to Him, and to perform the directives He assigns me. Other people may not understand the pleasure i've found in being Daddy's precious piece of art, but i feel as admired and cherished as any priceless treasure. i only hope that i can continue to make Daddy happy and gratified by my implementation of His edicts.

Just a fantasy, but not for long.....

l is bound to the chair in the corner of the hotel room facing the bed. The coils of rope extend from her shoulders to waist, leaving only her breasts exposed, and around her wrists and calves rendering her immobile. Underneath the ballgag that stretches her mouth uncomfortably wide is tied a bandanna, further muffling her cries. she's not permitted to close her eyes or turn her head. she must bear frustratingly silent witness to everything that is taking place on the bed.

M has been fucking A for the past hour. l has seen Him suck at A's rose colored nipples and finger her clit until she came to a shuddering orgasm. A has slurped at M's cock, covering it with glistening spit, before He slid it into her shaved cunt. Now He's taking her from behind, roughly plowing into her while He grips her shoulders. They are both covered in sweat, and their faces are flushed.

M spreads A's ass and looks at her tiny pink asshole. He allows a ball of spit to land in her crack and smears it into her hole. He begins to finger A's asshole, slowly at first, then deeper and faster. A begins to cum loudly, clawing at the bedsheets. She pushes back against M, trying to get as much of Him as she can into her hungry cunt. She wriggles her ass, and M gives her a couple of swift spanks. A's eyes are shut tight as she comes to a bucking orgasm.

M slips out of A's dripping pussy and leaves her lying on the bed panting. He walks into the bathroom to remove the condom and clean up. l watches Him from the chair. she doesn't think He has cum, but when she turns her eyes to A still sprawled out on the bed, she knows that A definitely has.

A brushes her blonde hair from her face and looks up at l and giggles. She stands up and begins to dress, calling to M in the bathroom. M steps into the room again and smiles at A.

"Enjoy yourself, A?" He chuckles.

"O yes, we should definitely do it again sometime. It was nice to have an audience," she replied with a grin.

M gives A a hug and kisses her on the cheek.

"We'll see about that. Give me a call soon,ok?"

A grabs her purse and begins for the door, pauses at l's side for a moment, laughs, and then she's gone. M sits down on the bed in front of l and crosses His arms. He's still naked. l usually loves looking at His body, but she would give anything to be able to close her eyes right now. she keeps picturing His cock sliding into A's mouth, and how He had grabbed her head and forced His entire length down her throat.

"I'm going to take that ballgag out of your mouth now, but I'm leaving the bandanna in because you are still not allowed to speak. you are not permitted to speak for the rest of the night. you must listen to Me, and think about what I have to say. Do you understand?" l nods , yes. M reaches behind her head and unbuckles the ballgag. Even with the bandanna still in her mouth, it feels good to have the ball removed.

"I know you are upset," M says, sitting back down in front of l.

"You didn't like that very much, but you were very good, and didn't look away once. I'm proud of you. "

"You have to always remember that I'm the boss, and I can have whoever I want, whenever I want to. You must learn to control your jealousy. "

M pulls the chair l is in closer to Him, so that l's knees are touching His. He runs His hands across the rope, and asks " Not too tight?"

l shakes her head, no. she was glad she was tied to the chair tonight. There were many times she had wanted to get up and leave, and the ropes had prevented her from even being able to struggle.

"Okay." M looks into l's eyes and begins......

"This was difficult for you. I knew it would be. It bothers you that I'm around beautiful women constantly. I have naked women around Me all the time, and I enjoy looking at them. I love to make them cum, and I love to film it. I love the control I have over their bodies. I love to posses them for that time. "

"A is beautiful and very sexy. Even with the condom on I could feel how wet and hot her pussy was. She has perfect tits that bounced when i fucked her. It was a pleasure to watch. "

M leans in and His face is inches away from l's. she is trying to hold back tears as she listens to M's speech. she knows all of this. she could tell how much M enjoyed fucking A. her nose is burning and she can feel the tears gathering in her eyes. she doesn't want to cry. she tilts her head back a little to keep the tears from falling, but one escapes from the corner of her eye and slips down her cheek. M reaches out a finger to catch it, and rubs it across her lips.

"you think that you're not pretty enough for Me. That you don't measure up to the others. you don't see how insulting that is to Me. you wear My collar. you are Mine." M tugs at the collar at l's throat.

"you don't understand the difference between you and them. All you see is their beauty, because you only see the pictures. These girls are only beautiful. They cannot do what you do. They are handed everything because of the way they look. They would not put forth the effort to please that you do. They would not have your devotion. That is what I want."

"you're eagerness to please Me is arousing. When you do as I tell you, even when it shames you, it makes me feel powerful. you trust Me to only give you as much as you can handle, and to know just how far you can go. That is not a thing that is easily had. It is flattering to Me that you give it so completely. Do you think I can have that with anyone?"

l is listening to M speak, watching His mouth and eyes. she is trying to pay attention to what He is saying, but flashes of the scene she just sat thru keep popping into her mind. It hurts too much. she drops her head down.

M lifts her face back up by the chin establishing eye contact again, and continues, "you aren't listening to Me. you keep thinking about Me fucking A. Yes, I fucked A, and enjoyed it, too. But who is here now? Who do I have in My bed with Me? Who is My little girl?"

"you forget the importance of that. I don't like it. you should always remember that I keep you with Me because you please Me. you are only thinking of yourself when you feel jealous. you aren't seeing what I want. I want you."
M begins to untie the knot in the rope, but does not pause.

"I did this tonight because I want you to see that when I fuck another girl, it has nothing to do with you. I do not fuck them because of anything you did, or didn't do, or wouldn't do. I know there is nothing you would not do for Me. There is nothing I can ask for that you would not give Me. That is why you are special to Me."

The ropes are gone now, but l remains seated across from M. she is transfixed by the sound of His voice and what He is telling her. she is special to Him. The look of gratitude and joy on l's face makes M smile.

"you are such a silly little girl to not have known that. I should spank you for being so ignorant," M says, chuckling.

"I'm going to remove the bandanna now, but remember, you are still not permitted to speak. "

l grins. she has been foolish. M would not keep her if He did not really want her. she didn't realize that she would have to be special to be with M. her own insecurities had kept her from seeing what was in front of her. she must not let M down again. she feels so grateful and cherished.

M sits back down and says,"Ok, little girl, you can give me a hug and kiss now."
l throws her arms around M's neck and kisses Him. He lays her down on the bed and looks down at her.

"you mustn't forget what I've told you. you really must try to control your jealousy, it's very annoying. I do not like having to deal with it. you are My slave, My slut, My pet. you are My little girl. No one else. "

"Now, be a good girl and give Daddy a nice blowjob. A did not do as well a job as I've become accustomed to since I've taken on My little girl. I want My sweet little cocksucker to make Me hard again, because Daddy didn't cum and He wants to fuck His baby."