Monday, October 11, 2010

So You Wanna Be A Professional Dominatrix

I have returned to the Dungeon I began my professional Domme career. It's under new management; I wouldn't have gone back otherwise. I had major conflicts with the previous owner, but it is now all female run, staffed, managed, and even the webmaster is a webmistress. I'm still independent. It's like being a hairstylist in a salon. You service the salon clients, yet you still have a "book" of clients that are your own.

So, the week I began there was a new girl. She'd never done BDSM stuff before, but she had done phone sex and it included BDSM talk. I tried to take her under my wing a bit. Actually, I didn't try, she asked me to help her, so I showed her some stuff...rope work, different flogging techniques, I even offered to show her some makeup tips. She's a bit crusty punk, but not in the stinky way. It's more stylistic, if you know what I mean. She thought wearing Doc Martens were an ok boot to wear in session. Now, I'm a grungy riot grrrl from waaaay back, so I have no problem with Docs, but it's not gonna get her sessions. Plus, she wanted to wear yellow eyeshadow.

You gotta be you, and I told her that. But one must also keep in mind who our audience/clientèle is. It's not young hipster, punk, crusty guys. We get old men, I.T. guys, professionals. They like a little goth look, but they don't want a chick who looks like she just crawled out from behind a dumpster. Have you ever watched the old school Degrassi? The seasons with Spike; the punk chick who got knocked up? She had "fringe", and so does the new girl. I haven't seen that in so long. The new girl received a wig from another girl that was ratty. I tried to brush it for her, and she got all irritated. Well, fuck her then. Go out looking like you just grabbed your hair from the trash can.

When I started I was humble. Not by design, but because I really didn't know much about topping/Dommeing. I listened, I watched, I learned. I fucked up, I excelled, I kept clients coming back.

My advice is the same sort of advice you would get for any job. Keep your mouth shut. Watch everyone. Pay attention. Empathize with the client. Be enthusiastic. Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. And by "uncomfortable" I don't mean something you don't enjoy necessarily, but something that makes you want to run. There's a difference.

That's all for now.

4 comments:

HEDONE said...

Just letting you know I came, I saw, I read, and I enjoyed.

-H

Liras said...

Isn't it interesting how all jobs have a similar thread running through them? Be quiet, pay attention, learn and get the swing of it.

I found you via Love Boudoir. Will be back!

Anonymous said...

where you a submissive before you became a dominant? do you find that being a sub first makes people a better dom because they know what the sub wants better?

Vince Stead said...

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