Okay, it's been a while. I haven't had too much to write about lately, so this is really just to let you all know I'm alive, and I have been trying to rack my brain for an interesting topic to discuss here.
I've begun to Pro Domme/switch again. I'm enjoying it alot. It seems to be the only real play, and service, I get to do. I still see M weekly, but that's about it. We get a few hours on Friday night, a few hours on Saturday morning, and then the rest of the week he's pretty much absent. I don't call him or text him anymore cause he's not very good about answering the phone or texting back. I've just given up on it. I just try to tell myself it's not because he doesn't like me, or want to be with me, he's just...busy.
I fantasize about M alot. Mostly when I lay down for a nap and when I go to sleep. Many times it's about our sex, of course, but just as often it's me conjuring up his image in my mind. Just his face, what his body looks like. I really enjoy looking at him when he's with me. Possibly because our time together is brief and infrequent, and I like to imagine what it would be like to have him around during mundane everyday type times. The last time we saw each other he told me that the good thing about not seeing me much is he forgets how hot I am, and he gets to be surprised by it all over again when I open the door. Sweet. I'd still like to see him more often, tho.
Last Friday I wasn't feeling well, I had an upset stomach. I told him that I still wanted to have sex, but that we'd have to be not as "energetic" as we normally are. He was accommodating about it, and didn't seem put out at all. It felt really good, actually. He got just as deep, filling me up as he always does, and just as stretching, maybe even a bit more than usual, just slower and not as jostled. He kissed me alot, on my neck, slowly, and across my lips tenderly. I held him close to me, running my hands down his back, resting on his hips, squeezing his adorable bum. M held my face in his hands and curled his fingers over my cheek, and looked into my eyes. I felt completely caressed, and I think he told me I was beautiful. And I felt beautiful, I felt so warm, and desired and desirable. He peppered my collarbone and breasts with kisses, ran his fingertips down my side and across my belly...
I hooked one leg around his waist, and the other I wrapped around his leg. I slid my hands to the back of his neck and buried my fingers into his curls. I kissed his mouth over and over, and fought the urge to close my eyes, because he was so beautiful I didn't want to lose any moment or expression. Burying my face into the crook of his neck, I had the smell of his body flood my head, and I licked at the iridescent almond saltiness of his skin. All the while he kept up a hypnotic rhythm of deep, even paced thrusting. He pulled me tighter as he built to his orgasm, quickening and pushing harder into me. And when he pulled out, I cupped his balls, soaked in my wetness, and looked into his fierce, furrowed browed eyes as he shot come from my hip to my chest.
He always kisses me after he comes. Always. Even before he catches his breathe, he leans down, huffing, and pecks me tenderly a few times, before collapsing to catch his breathe. Even when he comes on my face, he dips his fingers in feeding it to me, and when it's all swallowed, kisses me. Even when I blow him, as soon as he's come, his first action is to draw me up to him by my underarms for a kiss. I'm the one who has to pull away for a second to ensure I've wiped the extraneous saliva away first, and the moment I'm dried, he kisses me, smiles a delightfully satisfied smile, and pulls me into a deep cuddle.
I can't wait to be in that snuggle spot again. He likes the way I feel against him, and he's happy that I enjoy his cuddling. I had become unused to it, having either not been with a "cuddler", and been with an "over-cuddler" in a manner that felt suffocating, for years. I ache to be in M's arms again, and have not grown even remotely bored with it. I want it. I want it right now.