M did call last Monday. I hadn't expected it, but I was pleasently surprised, if a little unnerved, when we talked. I suppose he wanted to see me, too, because we ended up speaking to each other on the phone while appearing on our webcams. And my god was it good to see him. I wasn't as excited for him to see me, it was so hot that night and i was all sweaty, but looking at each other was reassuring in its own way.
Thursday night was bad. I had a bit of a breakdown. I think the strain just got to be too much for me. The not knowing. The depression. The loss. My having PMS. Just everything coming together in a perfect storm of misery and hopelessness.
By Friday afternoon I felt a bit better. I had resolved to just lay in bed watching bad TV. I thought to myself "Well, maybe M will call to chat before bed tonight. It's unlikely, but maybe. That would be nice." When I looked at my phone around 7pm to check the time, I saw that there was a text as well as a missed call from M, so I called him back.
We talked, and he wanted to come see each other. I straightened up my neglected apartment, and jumped in the shower. I shaved a bit, but I didn't give myself an enema or nair my bikini line as I would normally do, I didn't want to get my hopes up. He may not even want me to touch him, he had previously backed away from me when I had attempted to, and anyway I didn't want to get ahead of myself. It had been nearly a month since I'd seen him.
When he arrived he showed me his new bag. After going thru all of it's features, he seemed to realize he hadn't greeted me with a hug or anything, so he gripped me up in a big tight hug. It reassured me a bit that I at least wasn't going to have to worry about an occasional stray stroke. And it was nice to smell him and feel him again.
We ordered pizza, and watched Real Time on HBO ( I love Rachel Maddow!), and as we laid there watching TV, he pulled me in close beside him and had me lay my head on his shoulder as he stroked my hair. Just him reaching for me makes me melt, but when he strokes my hair I sink even further into relaxation and comfort. Still, I didn't completely allow myself to hope for too much more. I didn't dare.
When Real Time was over, I rolled on to my side, figuring we would chat some more. He took off his glasses, rolled over to face me, and nuzzled his face against my chest. His free hand came up behind my head and pulled my face down to his, and then he kissed me. And he tasted so good and his tongue filled my mouth, and it was velvety and soft, and aggresive and decisive. I didn't sense any caution in his kiss, but I was still unsure of what I should do. Nevertheless, I kissed back, with growing ardour.
His hand moved from behind my head down to my hip, and he kneaded my flesh, gripping me firmly. His knee nudged between my thighs and he pulled my leg over his hip so I was straddling him. By now our bodies were pressed tightly against each other, and the kisses were becoming more and more passionate. I don't know how to describe this all without it coming off as rushed, but even while it was happening I thought to myself how hungry we were for each other, but also that it didn't feel rushed or erratic. It was electric and exciting, but it wasn't frenzied. It was sensual.
M rolled me onto my back and settled between my legs. Kisses and kisses and more kisses. Kisses on my neck. Kisses on my collarbone. Kisses on my earlobe, and his breathe across my ear sending a thrilling shiver down my spine, making me moan out loud. And I noticed how hard I was breatheing. And we were grinding our bodies together like a couple of teenagers. That's when I realized I was already dripping wet.
We slipped off his shirt, and it was my chance to kiss along his collarbone and the tattoos I never thought I'd touch again. And his skin smelled amazing. And then my shirt came off, and he laid me back down and leaned back to look at me. He ran his hands from my shoulders down across my breasts, down my ribs and across my stomach. He leaned over me reaching for my breasts, grabbing them up in both hands, sucking on my already hard nipples.
My hands touched every exposed part of him. I dug my fingers into his shoulders, and ran my fingers up and down his back, cupping his pecs. Anywhere I could reach, anything I could grab a hold of, just to feel him.
He leaned back again, and his hands went to unbutton my jeans, and he pulled them off me. I wrapped my legs around him, but then my panties soon followed my jeans, and then his bottoms were off. Again he leaned back, and I felt his finger slide between my wet pussy lips, slipping up to my clit, then sliding back down. Up and down between my lips, and I quivered from the touch of his single finger.
He spread my thighs, wide, and he lightly kissed and licked the insides of my thighs. I felt that velvet tongue on my clit, lapping at me, and two fingers entering me. His free hand cupped my ass, and lifted me up to his mouth. I had fantasized earlier in the day about his mouth on my pussy, had been aching for it.
He climbed up from between my legs and I reached up to kiss him, licking my juices from his lips. I kissed my way down to his cock, and he moaned when I slid him into my mouth. I held his balls in my hand, and drew him deeper into my mouth. His hands were all over my body, and I couldn't take much more. I lifted my face up to him, and whispered,"Fuck me."
He pulled me on top of his lap and I wedged his cock inside of me, and slid down onto him. He remained sitting up, and I used his shoulders as leverage to work myself on top of him. Maybe because it had been nearly a month since I've fucked, or maybe because he was super hard and super thick, but I was completely stuffed. He had to keep stopping me from moving so he wouldn't cum too soon. I felt like I was going to burn up, and my cunt was involuntarily squeezing him inside of me even when I was trying to be still.
I felt none of the self conciousness I usually feel when I'm on top. I probably could have stayed up there the whole time, but I think it was too much for M. Either that or he just wanted to pound me. :D
He got me on my back, kissing my face and my neck. His hands closed around my throat and squeezed, cutting off my air. I think he got a bit distracted because I think I started to go unconcious. There was a flooding, crashing wave sound in my head. Everything was swirling, and I couldn't see. I didn't even realize it was happening until I was gasping for breathe, and I was confused where I was and what was happening. I said to M, "Wait a sec," as I caught my breathe and "came to". He cradled me close to his chest, and resumed sliding in and out of me gently, working his way back up to fucking me as hard as before.
M flipped me around onto my hands and knees and gathered my hair up into his hand as he reentered me. His left hand comes across my chest, first grabbing my breast, then clasping my right arm pressing my back against his chest. His forehead is on my left shoulder and we're both panting and moaning. I'm arching my back to get as much of him in me as possible, he lets me go and I seal my chest to the bed, grinding my ass against him like a cat in heat.
Once again he flips me onto my back, and hooks my knees over the crook of his elbows. I love this position because of how deeply he can penetrate me and the way the head of his cock butts up against that sensitive spot at the top in the back of my cunt. I have fistfuls of comforter in my hands, I'm practically hyperventilating. My head is swimming, and I can feel the wet spot growing under my ass.
Suddenly, M pulls out and brings his cock up to my face and shoves himself down my throat beginning to cum. He pulls out and jerks off into my open mouth, shuddering when my tongue wraps around the tip. I swallow everything, and we both sort of collapse his head at my feet, exhausted and gasping. I lift my head up a bit just as M does, and he reaches out for my hand to pull me to him. I get my after fuck kiss as I tuck myself into the cuddle M offers, the mingled scent of our bodies covers us like a perfume.
The sweat on our bodies hasn't even dried before M says to me, eyes closed and with a smile,"Give me a few minutes, I want to fuck you again." I giggle and snuggle in closer. It's not unusual for us to fuck multiple times in a night, but I admit I was happy to have the one time, and I was still trying to not expect too much. And I was especially pleased that he was already thinking about fucking me again.
I was smoking my after sex cigarette when I told him how my breasts were aching during the day, but that when he had grabbed them it hadn't hurt at all. I said I must have had a ton of endorphins coursing through my body. His hand creeps between my thighs and he says, "How would you like some more endorphins," and begins to pinch and toy with my clit. A bit of advice ladies, if you ever get the chance to be fingered by a bassist...take it!!! ;)
Well, of course that led to another bout of excellent fucking. And after that M took a catnap curled around me while I sat up smoking and watching the rerun of Real Time. He woke up and kissed my back, and I ran my nails across his back. M loves when I scratch his back, and he practically purrs when I do it. He murmurs that he wants to fuck again, and I have to say that really was a surprise to me. Another pleasant surprise.
So, M and I fucked again. Tho I think he was disappointed that I hadn't made my ass ready. I told him that I hadn't even been sure that he would let me touch him, nevermind fucking me, so I hadn't done much prep. I hadn't even put makeup on or done my hair, which I don't think has happened the entire time I have been with M. And I'm not even one of those girls that wears makeup every day, I wear it enough for work. But I always try to look my best for M.
After all that we were both spent. There was a little sleepy conversation before I turned out the light and rolled over to sleep. M pulled me into the curve of his body, throwing his leg over my hip. In the morning I woke up first, as is usual. He wakes up with a smile and I flatter myself that he's happy to be waking up in my bed with me. He edges over to me coaxing my arms around him. He draws me in to kiss him, but I say "No, I have morning pizza breathe. And cigarettes." He says, "My cock doesn't have a sense of smell," and I roll my eyes at him as he gives me that naughty grin of his.
We had sex once more before we run to WaWa for coffee, and M had leave early to meet up with his bandmates to travel to thier gig that night. I was pretty happy for the rest of the weekend, and I'm happy to have spent time with M. He wants to "take things slow" and I have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand it makes sense, and on the other hand it sounds like trying to walk the cat backwards.
I'm cautiosly optomistic at this point. M says he cares for me, and he says he doesn't want to be with other girls and that it just made things "complicated", and he doesn't want that. I'm inclined to agree about the desire for things to be drama free, I just hope that doesn't mean he's not taking this seriously. I guess I'll see what happens.