Sunday, November 18, 2007

Daddy and His little girl

i'm no expert, that should be pretty clear to all. Tho i have had many jobs in the sex industry, most recently working as a Pro Domme, my experience in the BDSM life is limited. Sure, i had read the Beauty Chronicles (who hasn't?), and had received some spanking here and there from boyfriends, and was bound once or twice with clothesline. But none of them could go so far as to play "Daddy" with me. i could never tell any of them all the dark, scary things i tell Daddy.

Look! My first cropping....awwwwwwww........;)

Daddy had more experience than me, but has never played as hard as W/we do. He has told me that, with me, He gets into a "Dom space", just as i go into a sub space. Daddy has had girls before who wanted to play as W/we do. He says He didn't have the chemistry with them that He has with me. They didn't make Him feel like a Daddy.

i called Him "Daddy" the first night W/we were together. It came about organically, W/we didn't discuss whether either of U/us was comfortable with it. It just popped out of my mouth, and He didn't recoil. The next day He sent me an email, and signed it "Daddy". As serendipitous as it sounds, that's the way it began. We didn't meet with the intention of starting a D/s interaction. Daddy says W/we must have "smelled" it on each other.

i like to research. When Daddy and i started moving in this direction more and more, i wanted to know as much as i could. i began reading anything i could find online or in books about BDSM in general and D/lg in particular. And what i found was a mountain of conflicting views about BDSM and virtually nothing about D/lg.

It began to upset me. i thought i was a bad submissive after reading some of the essays and sample slave contracts. i talked to Daddy about it and He, very wisely, reminded me that W/we have our own unique dynamic, and that as long as i'm pleasing Him then i'm being "good". Sigh of relief. Sage Daddy.

It looks like D/lg makes others in the BDSM world nervous. But, in my experience, only starting at a certain age. The older folks seem very squeamish about it. They don't seem to mind the ABs (adult babies), but talk about an older guy playing with a girl who acts and appears significantly young, then the outrage begins. Possibly it's because they have kids, and the idea freaks them out. Possibly it's because they worry about the persecution of people in the BDSM world they already deal with, and adding the illusion of some incestual fantasies would invite scrutiny they could do without.

Either way it made me feel isolated. i couldn't find info about D/lg experiences. There were a couple of essays and one really good site called Little Girl Lost, but it doesn't seem to be updated anymore. i didn't have anyone else to read until i came here, and found all the wonderful journals about other people's experiences.

So, i don't care about "getting it right". i care about "getting laani right for Daddy", Old Guard be damned. Maybe there's a reason why it's the Old Guard. Maybe it was obsolete, and needed to be replaced.

It's the most intense type of relationship i have ever had. It's intoxicating. And if Daddy is pleased and i'm pleased with making Him happy, then i don't care what anyone thinks.

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