i am sorry if this post seems cryptic, i am still ashamed of my infraction.
i broke one of His/my rules on Monday night. It's an important rule, and one i've broken before. It's a difficult rule for me to follow sometimes. Daddy has been patient with me about it because He knows i'm trying. i have made improvement where this rule is concerned, but i need to continue to work on it. It is for my own good that i have this rule. It is to my benefit to follow it.
When i broke this rule i made myself unpleasant to Daddy. i made Him wait and by the time i got to His place it was very late at night. Daddy was tired and angry. Daddy can tell right away when i have broken this rule. He can tell immediately by my general demeanor the change that takes place.
W/we went to sleep as soon as i got there, due to the hour of my final arrival. Daddy had planned some fun games foe U/us to play, but i had messed all that up. Daddy told me i would be beaten the next day. i was very upset for having disappointed Him, and was reluctant to lay in His bed. Daddy is reserved normally, but when He is angry with me He is even more so. i didn't want to get into the bed only to have Him ignore me, tho i knew i wasn't deserving of His attention. I sat on the top of the stairs in the fetal position and felt sorry for myself.
Daddy called out to me to come to bed. He said He needed me to warm His bed for Him (i get very very hot when i sleep). i was relieved when He said that. Daddy wouldn't punish me if He was releasing me. Daddy still wanted me. i was still useful as a bed-warmer.
i undressed and turned out the light. i figured Daddy would roll away from me, but He didn't. He spooned me, cuddled a little. Maybe He was just chilly and needed the warmth, but it felt so good to not be ignored. Thank you, Daddy, for touching me, and giving me comfort when i had been bad.
Daddy didn't ignore me in the morning either. He told me He would punish me in a bit. He did some packing and then told me to get the hemp rope and to choose 4 implements from the "toy chest". W/we ended up with a small latex flogger, a crop, a large suede flogger, and a fur/leather paddle.
i was bound to the banister. Daddy also bound my ponytail back so that my face was pointed to the ceiling. No warm up, this was punishment. Daddy used the small latex flogger first. It stung. All over my ass, then down my thighs, calves, and the soles of my feet. Rapid, stinging hits. After that it gets foggy. The paddle was used. Relentlessly. Then the crop. Over and over again. i tried to twist away. Daddy told me to get back into position. After i did, it would begin again.
As painful as the beating was, the humiliation was worse. i was a little piggy. i had made a pig of myself in Daddy's eyes, and if i was gonna act like a little piggy i had to sound like a little piggy. i was in tears. i had to make piggy noises. Daddy was disappointed in me. At the end i counted off 10 very hard licks with the crop, punctuating each swing with the number and "i'm a little piggy when i drink too much."
my pain tolerance has gone down alot. i cried. My face burned. My ass burned. i was broken. Daddy began to untie me. i sniveled and sniffed, but other than that said nothing. Daddy kissed my shoulders. Then He kissed the tears on my eyes. His tenderness made me cry a little more. He went to get a tissue, and He held it for me while i blew my nose. It reminded me of when i was little and my Mom used to do that for me, before i learned to blow my nose myself.
After the rope was unwound, Daddy caressed me from behind. He lifted me up like a child and carried me to the couch, my face nestled into His neck. He held me in His lap and pulled a blanket across U/us. He held me like that, and i cried a bit more. Daddy spoke to me softly. i don't recall exactly what He said. But the gist was that i was His good girl. That He knew i was trying, and that He knew it was hard for me. That i needed to be punished, that it could have been worse. That He knew i hated being a little piggy, that it was humiliating. But that there were more humiliating punishments i could've been put through.
Daddy marked my ass. And He marked my shoulder. i'm not a painslut, but the beating made me wet. He played with me between my thighs, and made His little girl cum. He held me in His arms until i got myself together. He told me to post on the public blog about my punishment. i was forgiven.
Daddy knows i need punishment. Daddy cares enough about me to give it to me. i am thankful it was swift. i am thankful i can still serve. i am so thankful i am owned. my heart still belongs to Daddy.