Monday, December 17, 2007

Pardon my Glow

Apparently, i glow. The girls at work know when i've come from seeing Daddy. And they can tell when i'm going to see Him later. my smile is broader, i speak alot faster, and, i've been told, i glow.

i can't help it. i'm happy. Very. If anyone had told me in high school that i would've found happiness in slavery, i would've said "Turn off the pretty hate machine, you've had enough."

Even after the seed had been planted (yeah, i know, Beauty Chronicles) i didn't think in terms of slavery, ownership, or servitude. i liked being spanked, i dug being restrained, and the teeny tiny bit of breatheplay i had experienced was fun. i even played "uncle/niece" with a much older lover once. It was the most forced and unsexy roleplay...ever.

It's so easy with Daddy. It isn't "roleplay" or "ageplay", the way W/we interact could never be drama class exercise (...aaaaaaand scene). It's fluid, but whether i'm a big girl or a little girl, i'm still His girl. i'm still submissive to Him. He's still the boss.

i feel lucky to have found Him. i feel lucky to have someone who doesn't like me in spite of my weirdness, my darkness, or my silliness, but seems to like me because of all that. And when i am bad, when i disappoint Him, make Him angry, displease in anyway, i'm punished, then forgiven. Truly forgiven. Infraction, punishment, forgiveness, and an opportunity to improve, to be better.

What's not to glow about?


Pixiepie said...

i see your glow from here! there is true beauty in submission and i am so happy you have it.

Laani said...

Thank you for your kind words pixie.
i'm sure you're like a beacon when with Richard...;)