Monday, December 17, 2007

Pardon my Glow

Apparently, i glow. The girls at work know when i've come from seeing Daddy. And they can tell when i'm going to see Him later. my smile is broader, i speak alot faster, and, i've been told, i glow.

i can't help it. i'm happy. Very. If anyone had told me in high school that i would've found happiness in slavery, i would've said "Turn off the pretty hate machine, you've had enough."

Even after the seed had been planted (yeah, i know, Beauty Chronicles) i didn't think in terms of slavery, ownership, or servitude. i liked being spanked, i dug being restrained, and the teeny tiny bit of breatheplay i had experienced was fun. i even played "uncle/niece" with a much older lover once. It was the most forced and unsexy roleplay...ever.

It's so easy with Daddy. It isn't "roleplay" or "ageplay", the way W/we interact could never be drama class exercise (...aaaaaaand scene). It's fluid, but whether i'm a big girl or a little girl, i'm still His girl. i'm still submissive to Him. He's still the boss.

i feel lucky to have found Him. i feel lucky to have someone who doesn't like me in spite of my weirdness, my darkness, or my silliness, but seems to like me because of all that. And when i am bad, when i disappoint Him, make Him angry, displease in anyway, i'm punished, then forgiven. Truly forgiven. Infraction, punishment, forgiveness, and an opportunity to improve, to be better.

What's not to glow about?

2 comments:

Pixiepie said...

i see your glow from here! there is true beauty in submission and i am so happy you have it.

Laani said...

Thank you for your kind words pixie.
i'm sure you're like a beacon when with Richard...;)